Alec Kerr and Matthew Ruffing are both somewhat funny people. They say a few things here and there that make me think, “Damn, that’s not bad. I like that…Maybe I’ll say it to my mom so she can laugh instead of just bitch about how dirty my room is, and how all the girls I have over to “watch a movie” are just too fucking young.” The difference between their humor and my humor is that with every funny story or funny joke I tell, there is a purpose. I have a long term goal in everything I do. As some of you might remember Kerr discussing his failed attempts to start a U-S-A chant during the Olympic hockey game, a lot of people would see that as “just cheering on your team” but for me it was much more than that. Sure I was rooting for the US in that game and those chants were out of excitement, but more importantly; I was simply just trying to scare off every 5’4, flat bill wearing, and cigarette smoking Asian that I could. For those of you who found this chant stupid, I just have to ask you, “Who’s stupid now?” Right before spring break at IU a girl was sexually assaulted by an Asian student right across the street from our dorm. This to me is very disheartening, what is even more disheartening is that this could have prevented just by following my lead. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a very big fan of many Asians but I like them a lot better than Jason “White Chocolate” Williams since he was quoted screaming, "I will shoot all you Asian fuckers ... Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that." So from now on think to yourself…. “Maybe Reggie isn’t that big of a dumbass, he’s actually the smartest kid I’ve ever met.” <--if you think in this way, I can guarantee you that you will see life from a different angle.
Some people who don’t know me might see me as “just a little too sarcastic” or “the biggest fucking asshole they’ve ever met.” The people who immediately make these conclusions will more than likely always feel the same way about me, but those who give me a chance and get to know me will find that I am actually a good person with a caring heart and a magnificent cock. It is simply up to you on how our relationship will turn out.
I don’t blame a lot of people for disliking me; the fact is that I wonder around most days acting similar to the guy off the McDonald’s commercial with the only difference being is that I don’t actually even drink coffee.
Some of us have certain things we like to do; whether it is play sports, masturbate daily to lubetube.com, or simply walk your ugly ass dog around the block. I just want to take this time to tell everyone that their choice is their choice and that's fine. Also, my choice is what I choose to do as well and I would appreciate if people would accept my interests and hobbies. So what I can name all 56 girls I have made out with, and I can also name them in chronological and alphabetical order. Its just an interest of mine. Get off my ass.
On a lighter note, I would like all of you to start using the term "Joe'in." This term can be used on a frequent basis. What it means is that, when a good friend of yours is treating you like an Average Joe. You can simply say, "Man, stop Joe'in me." instead of the boring and overused phrases like cockass, fartbreath, dickhead, jerk, nerd, creeper, ass, asshole, assface, braceface; or my personal favorite, "stop being a Matthew Ruffing" just please start using the term Joe'in.
Like I mentioned earlier, sometimes my mom thinks my females of choice are too young. The only rules I live by to whom I use to get my fingers wet are listed below, enjoy.
18 and older = fair game.
17 = only okay with consent.
16 = pushing it a little bit, but acceptable with a note.
15 and younger = only acceptable if her father is in the room.
God Bless America more than any other Country,
Jordan “Reggie” Kiel
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