The Beginning - Alec Kerr

After being forced to write a blog in my class this semester, I've been begged (mainly by Kevin Sheehan) to start writing a blog on the reg. I don't really know in what direction to go with the blog so I'm just going to give it straight from the heart to you guys.


As a general rule of thumb, I tend to hate douchebags. For example Reggie Kiel is the nephew of John Mellencamp, and that is usually one of the first things that comes out of his mouth when we interact with any girl. Now I did not attend high school with this character but I can only imagine he was Seymour's equivalent to Kevin Federline. He was probably the kid who ditched his guy friends to hang out with a girl he had no shot at, talked incessantly about his "dope ride", acted like or dressed like a rock star, bragged about crazy poonani when he actually hadn't gotten laid in a year, and on dates spritzed himself liberally with axe and always had on an Affliction t-shirt. For some odd reason Mr. Kiel has become one of my best friends (and no not all of that is true, maybe except for like the poonani and ditching his friends). Motto of the story is don't judge a book by its cover.

Another prime example is Wil Van Dyke. When I met him I thought, here is another nerd who tells lame jokes, obeys all the rules, plays a lot of video games, and I felt like people definitely thought he was weird. It turns out those are the complete opposite characteristics of Wil Van Dyke aka"WVD", "Pickles", or "The chosen one" (minus the fact that he tells lame jokes). After hanging out with Wil a few times and taking a trip to Ole Miss with him, I realized, this may be the wildest person since Danny Bonaduce. After breaking 2 doors to the residence hall, breaking hearts all over IU's campus, making irresponsible decisions, waking up in Delts formal with just compression shorts on several times, and ultimately starring in the greatest Homemade video ever, he also became a good friend of mine.

Since I went into this blog with no pre-meditation it seems as if I have set up a lame and predictable pilot episode to a sitcom but instead of introducing a archetypal suburban mother who is always in the kitchen and ready with a plate of cookies, a laid back dad with a stubborn masculine personality, a son who is a ten year old trouble maker and considers himself as a rebel. Along with a sixteen year old daughter who is an extremely intelligent middle child, often involved in left-wing activism and loves playing the saxophone. As well as a second daughter around the same age as the last who is rebellious, slutty, and loves attention. My set up is more of an introduction to some of the insane things that go down when Reggie, WVD, Ruff, myself, and other people get together during the zero point zero experiment.

This is where I will start off, those of you who know me can most likely guess what the 0.0 experiment is, for others you are getting ready to find out so quit complaining about how long this damn blog has already been. The 0.0 experiment is mainly the label to my college career, in only my second semester at the greatest institution in America, Indiana University, I have set many records. Most Nerd bashes in a semester (if you don't know what nerd bashing is you are probably a nerd), most consecutive days sleeping in until 4 p.m., most games of FIFA played, and the kicker, lowest GPA in IU history a 0.00. Some ask how did the 0.00 happen? It was basically a mixture of all the things I mentioned there along with having too good of a time with the pledges or "heroes" of Delta Tau Delta, Matthew "Ruff" or "The scoundrel" Ruffing in general helped me reach that goal, netflix, saved by the bell re runs, etc. Mainly I just didn't want to do anything so it was essentially the perfect storm that caused me to gain the reputation as the "anti-nerd". The 0.0 experiment will be a tribute to the times we had last semester also known as the "The semester", as well as the events to come and the never ending quest to get off of academic probation.

Tell your friends to check out the experiment. If you are like "The scoundrel" and don't have any friends then good lookin' anyways. If you do have friends and they just don't care (which will most likely be the case), say look, he's as American as they come, he will only buy an American car, he loves that Farrah Fawcett poster, the moon walk (both kinds), Kentucky straight bourbon, Bob Knight, and huge selections of consumer goods at all price ranges. So if they won't support the 0.0 experiment for me, tell them to do it for America!

"Sure I've been called a xenophobe,but the truth is I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism."