"A Few Good Moments With Matthew Ruffing"

"Gordon Hayward I'm Not Gay..But I Might Love You"



Oh what’s up maggots how you livin? I know it’s been a while since I’ve been on here, it was hard to find the necessary drive to get back in the game after having to suffer through Kerr’s pathetic and false sense of how cool he is and how much he and Kenny Powers are alike. But I’m not here to rip on Kerr, I’m too pumped about my Dawgs just stickin’ it in everyone’s backsides and finishing inside. I’m saying it now and I’m gonna sit back and just wait for everyone to start saying it like it was their idea like everyone rippin off my facebook statuses about Butler. Get the fuck out of my face haters. But for real –Butler is the Mariano Rivera of College Basketball: we just finish teams. Talk about natural male enhancement I mean Jesus.. fuck Viagra.. have your underrated and underappreciated team you’ve repped harder than Kerr repping himself go to the national championship and you end up with having an erection the size of Idaho for a week and a half straight. I can’t count how many looks I’ve been getting, every time I get out of my car people stop and stare.. parents cover their kids eyes, girls do double takes (naturally I smile and wink), and guys are giving me high fives (I can’t tell if it’s awesome because they understand why I’m harder than your calculus final or if it’s creepy because they like it as much as Kristin Turner).
The rest of the week was filled with my constant hard on that got so irritating that I had to tape it to my leg and tuck it in to my sock like I’m fucking Dale Davis while at work. I did have a great time ruining the day for every person that was wearing gear for a final four team that wasn’t Butler. Constantly putting my head out the window, giving the middle finger and screaming “FUCK DUKE. SUCK ONE” by myself was a blast. Yeah it might be immature but do I really give a shit?
I would like to say one thing right now that everyone wants to say: fuck Duke. Yes I hate them. But why ruff? Probably because everyone loves talking about them and how much everyone hates them and how cool Coach K is for getting to the final four 11 times in his 30 some years of coaching. Good work bro, that’s so awesome you guys got back to the final four. No its not awesome. You get the best players every year you should be a fucking staple in the final four. It’s not nearly as cool as the fact that Tom Izzo has gotten to the final four 6 times out of the 12 years of his coaching career. Plus, if you’re a Duke basketball player it’s already understood that you’re a fucking douche bag. Prime example: Josh McRoberts. I beg someone to say Josh McRoberts is a cool person. Fuck your own face Josh.
And while I’m at it fuck every single basketball analyst. Seriously. You guys are smart as shit and know who the cinderellas are going to be before the tournament starts (Kinda like me predicting Kansas losing and Butler owning shit.. kinda cool eh?) yet you are still giving Duke the victory by like 40. Yes, Duke is the shit, Yes they don’t miss, Yes Kyle Singler has given Jon Sheyer multiple handjobs. Yes, Syracuse was bigger, faster, and better scorers than Butler, Yes Kansas State was stronger, quicker, and more athletic than Butler, yes Michigan State was taller, more depth, and had more overall experience than Butler. But the Bulldogs are the ones still standing. Because they know how to play their game and fuck the other team’s. Because they are the motherfucking Mariano Rivera of College Basketball. Go dawgs, I love you all, especially you Vanzant after I whispered inspirational sweet nothings in your ear after Easter Mass yesterday morning. Did I have Butler in the championship? No. Does that make me a hypocritical asshole? I’ll let you be the judge of that, but if it does, it isn’t the first time so suck it. And I’m expecting a victory tonight. I won’t be that guy who says, “Hey at least you got to the championship.” No fuck that. Butler wins and I’ll be more upset if they lose than when Reggie doesn’t get to hang out with his uncle after he performs at IU.
After Butler beats the Duke cunts tonight I will be making a trip to Butler. And yes, I will be jogging through the campus naked, 0 0 on my butt cheeks and 7 5 on my chest. It will be video taped, and I will be spending the night in jail. And maybe for once Butler will go hard and not end the night at 1. I mean seriously guys.. your in the final four and the people going the hardest are the kids that don’t even go to your school; I mean Surak was so drunk that we were pullin rum in the middle of the street and he ended up peeing on the floor in Dawson and Dillon’s room. Respect.
Dawson, Jack , Pat and Terrel –I’m still waiting for my shirt. Keep hatin. Go America.